Hello, everybody, all 3 of you that read me. I know it's been some time since I last wrote (8 months, to be precise).
This last year has been hectic, to say the least. I had ups and downs, like most of us, but significantly more downs. It was a tough year, mentally speaking. I felt bad about myself for most of it and it took me a long time to even start feeling meh about myself to reach feeling good. I'm still working on that.
On the plus side, I got married! Which was very exciting, but the preparation for it also contributed to the bad feelings. I had no money, because I was constantly paying for it (weddings are super expensive), I felt constant pressure to lose weight to look like a "beautiful bride", I was being pulled in all kinds of directions trying to get everything to stay afloat and everyone to be on the same page. I even changed jobs in the process, which was scary.
Speaking of, at least I have a new job, which is one less stressor to deal with. I was not ok mentally in the last job and needed to leave for my own good. Not to say it didn't come with its own challenges. I was often guilted into staying and I had to put my foot down and was basically thrown out. It was a whole thing.
This year was also a year of travels, which is surprising with no money and in a pandemic. I went to Disney TWICE (one of those to get proposed to), to Texas to visit my dad and see my brothers (I hadn't seen them in two years) and to New York City (to visit some friends)! It made me feel like if I truly wanted to do something, I just had to do it and I'll figure it out in the process.
This year, I also finished my book! I just finished editing and here comes the most nerve-wracking part: sending it to someone else. I am so afraid that they'll take one look at it and think I don't have writing potential. and there goes 5 years of a Bachelor's degree and 3 years of trying to write down the drain. That's 8 years of my life wasted. (Tick, Tick, Boom, anybody?)
I guess that's my first hurdle of 2022: getting over that fear. And luckily, I have my husband to help me. I have finished editing and now, it's his to read and send over to the editor. He knows that if I keep it, I will never send it, so he's giving me that one last push.
Which I think is very important. You need a partner that knows what you need in order to reach your goal and helps you achieve them. Or at least is there with you to support you if it doesn't go as planned. (Disclaimer: it doesn't need to be a romantic partner. It could be a best friend or even a family member. If you're strong enough to do it yourself, then props to you, you are much stronger than I am and have better willpower. But it's ok to need help.)
And now, here we are. Working towards the future. Like I said, I finished editing and this year will be dedicated to dreams. Working on getting my first book published, saving up for our next life step and coming back to this blog.
Come along on this journey with me!
I promise to do my best and hope you guys do your best too. If what you want doesn't happen, don't get discouraged.
You did your best.
Until next time, guys, gays and theys ❤️