It's my birthday today.
I'm a december baby.
It's my favorite month.
A joyous occasion.
Or at least it should be.
So why is it so hard to feel happy?
Amidst the loneliness of a pandemic,
Missing the people I wish were close, but aren't,
I just can't seem to find my happiness today.
I love the few people I can see
And I know they are enough
But I wish I had my dad here
I wish I had my brothers here
I wish I could hug and kiss my family
I wish I could see them Christmas day
And open presents all together
I wish this whole year hadn't felt like a wasted year
I feel like turning 25 isn't even joyful anymore.
It was exciting last year
But now I just don't even want to celebrate.
I look at the time and it just keeps extending itself.
I wish I could make it stop or skip to the next chapter.
I don't like this chapter; too long.
I just....wish it wasn't such a blue christmas.